Fuck You World…
by Troy on Mar.08, 2010, under Personal, Rant, Thoughts
As per my usual run of luck, just when I thought I had finally met someone who I could spend the rest of my life with, and when I really saw a future, the ol’ rug of happiness got yanked out from under me. I swear Im either trapped in some shitty reality show or soapie, or some god up there is having a lot of fun with my suffering. I really give up. Nothing excites me any more, and when I found someone who did, of course life veers completely off course. Ive tried everything, and nothing works anymore… I mostly feel nothing anymore, and when that changes, its usually more shitty than nothing 
If you are reading this, no I don’t want to talk about it…
Looks like I no longer live in reality?! :)
by Troy on Feb.01, 2010, under Humour, People are Horrible, Society, Thoughts
Well, it was interesting to go back and read some of my older posts, especially to see how perspectives can change so drastically, so quickly.
Short version – Ive met someone who Im definitely falling for. She is incredible, fun, happy, spontaneous, caring, kind, sexy, cheeky, energetic (I could keep going!). I still wake up and wonder if its real or I was dreaming… but it isnt a dream! Its amazing, I never thought I would ever find someone who shares a connection on so many levels, and is happy to let me be completely myself. Meeting her even changed my perspective of the world. Things that used to bother me, just dont anymore. Its great, and such a new feeling… I guess I feel like a high school kid with his first girlfriend 
So, it seems that I have joined one of the popular belief system of the world – that there is such a thing as true love, which apparently means I no longer live in the real world and am now as crazy as a fair chunk of the population! 
What I Have Learned So Far…
by Troy on Jan.24, 2010, under Humour, People are Horrible, Rant, Society, Thoughts
I thought I would start recording all the things I have learned about life, maybe in an effort to clear my head a bit. Maybe as a bit of an experiment… Also a way to vent my frustrations at the world… whatever the reason, here they are. In no particular order…
- People are selfish and rude
- Not everyone is selfish and rude, but most are. A few will surprise you
- Ignorance really is bliss
- No matter how much you try to prepare for something, something you hadn’t thought of will almost always happen
- People are deluded and do not live in reality
- Living in reality sucks, and thus why people delude themselves
- The world isnt as nice and as good as people will have you believe
- Most people take and dont give
- When someone strenuously objects to something, its usually because its true
- People often project their problems onto others (Transference)
- If you want to see the worst in people, go for a drive when traffic is busiest
- If you want to see the best in people, look at a disaster, war, or other tragedy. Difficulty, trouble, and adversity seems to bring people together.
- People like drama and trouble, and thats why ‘Reality TV’ is popular
- There is no one path in life, everyone has their own, and some are easier than others
- Dont judge someone too quickly, but trust your instincts
- People love to talk about themselves, and don’t want to hear about you very often
- If you are nice to others, and helpful, you will get used by most people
- Women are selfish, ambiguous, confusing, have no idea of their emotions
- Complimenting people just makes them arrogant and self centered, and you will not be appreciated or respected for it. You will just get used.
- Everyone lies, even to those that may matter.
- The few who do not lie do not get respected for it
- People mostly only care about themselves. If they care about someone else, its only usually only to pad their own ego
- Love makes you vulnerable and weak, and you will be exploited for it, or it will be thrown in your face
World Seems Difficult
by Troy on Sep.08, 2009, under People are Horrible, Personal, Rant, Thoughts
PHP 5.3 Sucks Donkey Balls
by Troy on Sep.08, 2009, under Rant
Ive just been *TRYING* to install PHP 5.3 on IIS 5.1 (Windows XP). You would think that the installer they provided would work, but nooooo. Apparently most install guides say not to use it. Im not surprised. I think they have tried very hard to make the experience as painful and convoluted as possible in a mistaken attempt to get people to move to Linux, or at least Apache. Either that, or they are a bunch of inbred morons who never tested their product fully before releasing it. And they wonder why there isnt more uptake of PHP??
I followed a few guides, and I have no fucking idea if its installed properly or not (most guides arent consistent either), but now IIS is chucking a fit and giving me file permission errors (-2147467259 (0×80004005)) when trying to view a test php page that contains one simple line.
** UPDATE **
Ive fixed the problem… forget the latest (crappy) version, and go to thier Releases section and download 5.1.0 or another version. The installer WORKED PERFECTLY and as soon as I ran it, my php pages fired up. I do reccomend grabbing the installer, and the ZIP. Install from the installer, then unzip the zipped copy over the place where PHP was installed. Reason – the installer doesnt have all the extensions etc.
Interesting…
by Troy on Aug.06, 2009, under People are Horrible, Personal, Rant, Religion
I finally got around to reading the third issue of Black magazine (a good read if you like dark culture, horror movies, etc). I was flicking through it and came to a page with the following list:
1. Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence
2. Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams
3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates
5. Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires
7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development”, has become the most vicious animal of all
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification
9. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years
I was, to understate, surprised. I have been searching for a religious aspect to life as I have felt for some time that this important aspect of life has been missing for me. Indoctrinated in traditional societal rules, I initially dismissed the article, but after giving it an open minded view, I quickly learned that “Satanism” is not at all what the popular media and religions have portrayed.
I have always leaned towards mysticism, the supernatural, and other darker aspects of life, but have been told by the hypocrites that this is bad. So, I wandered around aimlessly in the spiritual landscape, adrift because I have not found a faith that represents my experiences and understanding of the way the world works.
Out of desperation I read the full article, only to learn that the naysayers have completely misrepresented the views of Satanism. In fact, they need Satanism in order to justify their own existence (see #9 above). To me, this seems to be the other side of the same coin. Both necessary for existence and balance, but one side represents abstinence, piety, control, and faith without evidence. The other seems to represent hedonism, vital existence, realism, freedom to feel and experience without guilt, and a way of explaining the rocky road of life. For me, it seems to fit, more accurately than many others would have me believe.
So, I found a copy of The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey. I have started to read it (and for those worried about my immortal soul, I have also started to read The Quran, and The Christian Bible), and so far I have found some interesting outlooks on life that seem to fit in with today’s society.
It is not an easy religion to adopt in a society ruled so long by Puritan ethics. There is no false altruism or mandatory love-thy-neighbor concept in this religion. Satanism is a blatantly selfish, brutal philosophy. It is based on the belief that human beings are inherently selfish, violent creatures, that life is a Darwinian struggle for survival of the fittest, that only the strong survive and the earth will be ruled by those who fight to win the ceaseless competition that exists in all jungles – including those of urbanized society. Abhor this brutal outlook if you will; it is based, as it has been for centuries, on real conditions that exist in the world we inhabit rather than the mystical lands of milk and honey depicted in the Christian Bible.
That quote is by Burton H. Wolfe (from the prologue of The Satanic Bible) stands out to me. I have found myself drawing the same conclusion about life and people, on my own, by my own experiences. I have always felt that religion should be self evident, the rules spoken clearly by interactions with people and the world in general. So far, I am quite surprised to say that The Satanic Bible so far has represented the most pragmatic and realistic viewpoint of how to view and deal with life.
I will read on, take on the lessons that I need to learn, and maybe I have found something that I can hang my hat on and fill the void in my life?
Michael Jackson Dead – RIP
by Troy on Jun.26, 2009, under Society, Thoughts
Im sorry to see that Michael Jackson has passed away at aged 50. His music had a big effect on my life, and many of his songs bring back some of the most important and happiest moments of my life. He will be missed by many I am sure. At least now he is finally at peace after such a turbulent life.
What Makes Us Happy?
by Troy on May.19, 2009, under Uncategorized
I found this really interesting article… its a long read though. One excerpt that I like is this one:
Vaillant’s confession reminded me of a poignant lesson from his work—that seeing a defense is easier than changing it. Only with patience and tenderness might a person surrender his barbed armor for a softer shield. Perhaps in this, I thought, lies the key to the good life—not rules to follow, nor problems to avoid, but an engaged humility, an earnest acceptance of life’s pains and promises. In his efforts to manifest this spirit, George Vaillant is, if not a model, then certainly a practiced guide. For all his love of science and its conclusions, he returns to stories and their questions. When I asked him if there was a death that had affected him, he mentioned Case No. 47—“Alan Poe”—an inspiring, tragic man, who left many lessons and many mysteries, who earnestly sought to “squeeze that lemon.”
Lars (from Metallica) is a Hypocrite
by Troy on Apr.10, 2009, under Humour, Rant
Despite them being great musicians, Metallica sucks when it comes to supporting its fans. Lars has just proved it by being the biggest hypocrite on the planet. He decided that if anyone had a right to pirate Metallica’s music, it was him. Moron. He doesn’t own his music, the recording label does (Warner Bros.).
Don’t forget that Metallica was probably behind the first major court case around pirated music when they sued Napster, and created the avalance of law suits that followed. Now he has to add his own name to the list of pirates that should be taken to court, especially for publically admitting it!
This is very funny… Napster BAD!
The Website is Down
by Troy on Mar.08, 2009, under Humour
This is really funny… Ian sent it to me the other day!
